Hardlesson… again and again…

So I seem to keep attempting to learn this hard lesson over and over again. I do not know where to draw lines. I’ve finally figured out why. It’s usually due to one or more of the following: a) I’m drunk, b) I want people to like me, c) I think cynical tongue-in-cheek commentary is always appropriate. What I fail to realize is a) I’m drunk, b) most people don’t give a fuck, c) my tongue-in-cheek commentary is often not funny. It’s like I’m constantly relearning that throwing bricks at the girl you like is not going to get you a girlfriend.

Here is the most recent hard lesson… I used to write for a blog that was related to my profession. Technically I’m still one of their writers, but I haven’t posted for a couple months. In one of the last posts I made I mentioned that another campus within the same institution has far more personnel and they deal with the same amount of students. I did it in what I thought was a sort of sarcastic way calling our campus the forgotten “stepchild”. When I wrote that a couple of months ago, no one cared. I didn’t even think anyone was reading the blog. Well in the months since, the institution I work for as a whole has hit a rough patch financially. The campus that I indicated was living high on the hog was none too pleased that I had painted them in such a manner (on account of I pointed out that they have 13 professionals serving the same number of students my campus serves with 2). Long story short, it all got back to me via my boss. Long story shorter, I’m also trying to apply for a better job within the same institution and I probably just shot myself in the foot and dick.

Luckily, I’m still able to edit all my old posts and I took out the nasty bits. Still, I think the damage has been done. Notice I’m not providing any links… the last thing I need is for someone to be able to trackback me to this festering pile of donkey dicks. Anonymity has its perks.

So here’s a list of things that I thought were funny that probably hurt my professional self. Let’s consider this the list of hardlessons that I still haven’t learned:

1) Flooding the locker room and trying to “surf” on the kickboards after swim practice in 1992 = apparently not a good idea.

2) Asking a girl who just wrecked her car if she wanted a picture with it when I was a newspaper reporter in 1995 = not appropriate.

3) Rollerskating through the UW library in short shorts when I worked there in 1996 = apparently not funny.

4) Leaving my boss a pile of pictures of me in a speedo, posing on his desk, on my last day at work in 1998 = apparently disgusting and taken completely out of context.

5) Telling my class, on September 12, 2001, that what has happened has nothing to do with what they’re supposed to be doing, so “lets get to work on the next assignment.” = apparently short-sighted.

6) Writing a drunken manifesto calling out bullshit in conceptual art and submitting it as my artist’s statement for my thesis show in 2004 = apparently not appreciated by out-of-area member of thesis committee (it also wasn’t very good).

7) Assembling super-awesome drunken sculpture/installation of frame scraps in graduate art studio while helping a friend build frames for his graduate show in 2006 = apparently a fire hazard and not cool.

Encouraging said friend while he nailed an upside-down cross to the door of a douche bag’s studio on the same night = apparently insensitive to the douche bag’s religious beliefs and totally out of line. (“what if his parents found out”).

9) Attempting to nail a jabba-the-hutish thing’s studio door shut with an air nailer on the same night = apparently dangerous and threatening. I  also was accused of stealing a picture which showed the studio occupant in the bathtub. I didn’t take the photo and I have serious doubts if such a picture even exists. I have a hard time believing  she can fit into a bathtub.

Now this whole thing with the blog…. I can’t decide if I’m stupid or if everyone else just doesn’t have a fucking sense of humor.

I don’t even know anymore….